The Capricorn Solstice: The Message is Love.
An astrologer I often listen to referred to this time of year as the Capricorn Solstice, a thoughtful term that avoids confusion and honors both hemispheres. This perspective resonated deeply with me, bringing new understanding about my sun sign. Not only am I a Capricorn, but I was born on December 25th—at an hour I like to think of as profoundly angelic. Over the years, I've often been referred to as a Christmas Baby, a title that has shaped my identity in subtle yet meaningful ways.
Growing up in France, Christmas held a special place in my heart—not for its religious significance but for the connection it fostered among my family and people at large. The holiday was about gathering with those who would share a meal with you. It was a celebration of true connection, embracing the understanding that, despite our differences, we are all part of something larger.
Each home brought their own unique traditions and special foods to the table, creating rituals that felt deeply personal yet universally understood. My family for instance had this song to get us ready and excited for dinner (a whole set-up), and I will never forget this song and it is a connector with me, my parents, my siblings, and now my nieces and nephews.
To me, this is the essence of what is commonly referred to as Christ Consciousness: a vibration of connection representing relationship and being, where, for a moment, we are united in our individuality through our shared humanity. It’s the recognition that I see you, you see me, and together, we form a whole.
While my feelings about being born on this day have evolved over the years, today I feel a deep sense of pride. December 25th, for me, is a celebration of the light—a common thread across many religious and spiritual traditions (no matter the date)—and of the love that emerges from community, whether that be family, friends, or other groups.
Recently, I’ve come to a new understanding of what it truly means to love someone or something. It’s a realization I hold close to my heart, and I would like to share it with you.
The Diamond of Love and Many of its facets
Recently, I took time to reflect on the inventory of relationships in my life—those that brought me moments of great joy as well as those that caused pain, especially when they ended abruptly or when we naturally grew apart. In the past, I often took these experiences personally, clinging to feelings of resentment or anger, struggling to process those emotions rather than exploring the abundant lessons about love that these relationships were offering me.
To gain clarity, I turned to a process that has always been grounding for me: I wrote down the name of each person, the key facts about our relationship, its limitations, and the lessons it brought into my life. Through this exercise, I began to notice a pattern: every relationship had played a role in shaping my understanding of love, revealing profound insights about myself and highlighting the gap between what I was experiencing and what I truly desired.
From this awareness, I asked myself important questions: Do I still hold on to those old beliefs about love? Or have I grown into a new understanding? By examining my current beliefs, I gave myself permission to release outdated ideas and fully commit to the new truths I now hold about love.
Love is kind, Love is patient, supportive, and honest.
While this verse is famously recited during religious ceremonies, my personal understanding of its meaning was shaped by a relationship that taught me a profound, yet difficult, lesson. In that relationship, love was equated with unwavering support—support so unconditional that it required me to neglect not only my own needs but also the needs of others I cared for. It demanded blind loyalty.
Though the relationship brought many moments of joy and provided valuable experiences, it was ultimately unsustainable and unfulfilling. The price was simply too high. To maintain the love within that dynamic, I had to sacrifice my path, my identity, my self-respect, and even my self-love. Any attempt to assert boundaries—any “no”—was perceived as betrayal and met with a severing of ties.
Over time, I recognized that I had subconsciously repeated this pattern in other relationships. This awareness allowed me to change the behavior and allowed me to see “no” as strength and not a total rejection. Through reflection and growth, I have come to understand the transformative power of saying “no” and holding firm boundaries. While it can feel deeply uncomfortable, setting boundaries is, in itself, an act of love. It is an expression of self-love—a vital foundation for offering true and authentic love to others.
Practicing self-love means speaking kindly to yourself, being patient as you navigate challenges or growth, and honoring your values and limitations. By treating yourself with compassion and respect, you build solid foundations for healthier, more balanced relationships. Self-love is not selfish; it is the cornerstone of loving others authentically and wholeheartedly.
Love comes from your heart, not from your Ego
Love comes in many forms. I once heard someone close to me say that it’s impossible to love everyone in the same way. For a long time, I agreed with this statement, reasoning that since everyone is unique, they must be loved differently, according to their individual needs.
Yet, love is different from needs. I’ve come to realize that loving someone solely based on what they need can, at times, unintentionally border on manipulation—depending on the deeper intention behind it. While this might initially seem like genuine love, if the intention isn’t rooted in authenticity, that love tends to fade. When the support disappears, the person on the receiving end can feel abandoned or discarded, amplifying the very wounds they sought to heal.
This is where self-love becomes essential. True love for others flows naturally when it originates from a foundation of self-knowing, self-respect, and self-love. When you love from this place, you can show up for others with the same consistent and authentic energy, regardless of their unique needs or circumstances.
On the other hand, adapting yourself to fit every situation often stems from survival—a learned behavior of shapeshifting to meet the survival needs of childhood. While this might have served a purpose in the past, it’s not a healthy foundation for love.
The key is to remember to love from your heart, not from a place of fear or obligation. When you honor your true self, your love for others becomes unwavering and genuine—a reflection of the self-love you carry within.
Love is free and love is freedom
Love cannot control or dictate anyone’s behavior, choices, or thoughts. True love must be given freely, without expectations or conditions.
I came to this understanding through a deeply familiar relationship that revolved around food and acts of service. Someone I hold dear to this day consistently expressed their love through food. Their love language was cooking or buying expansive produce whenever I visited. They weren’t particularly expressive with words or affectionate with touch, but their way of showing love was clear: they wanted me to feel cared for through the meals they prepared or the tasks they requested me to do. Interestingly, acts of service happen to be one of my love languages, so I appreciated this gesture on many levels.
However, there was always an unspoken cost attached to these acts of love. If I said or did something they didn’t agree with, I would inevitably hear the phrase, “After everything we’ve done for you.”
Perhaps you’ve experienced similar relationships, or maybe you feel someone owes you something right now. This kind of love, however, is conditional. While it may not always be intentional, subconsciously, in this case, there’s often an expectation of something in return for the services or "love" given. When this happens, the love becomes transactional—stripped of its magic and purity, not unlike the exchange of money for everyday purchases. It loses its deeper, transformative power.
This is why I believe that true acts of love must come without strings attached. They cannot dictate or control a person’s thoughts, feelings, or actions. True love requires us to examine our intentions honestly, ensuring that what we offer is given freely and authentically. When love comes from a place of genuine care and selflessness, it regains its meaning, its magic, and its ability to heal and connect.
Love is Universal and does not Discriminate
This sentiment reflects a profound truth: love originates from the heart. It is free of judgment, encompassing everything on the spectrum of light and dark. Love is a universal force that unites rather than divides, transcending boundaries and limitations.
Love is infinite and enduring; it never fades. It exists as a constant force, beyond the comprehension of human understanding and the duality of this reality. It is the apex of the triangle, uniting opposing sides and offering balance at the center. From this vantage point, love allows us to access a higher perspective—a space where harmony and wisdom prevail.
True love is unselfish and inclusive. It looks past the superficial divisions imposed by society and instead speaks the universal language of empathy, compassion, and understanding. In a world yearning for unity, recognizing that love is universal serves as a powerful bridge—connecting hearts, healing wounds, and fostering peace.
Infinite Facets to Make The Love Diamond
Love is so vast and so intricate that its true definition lies beyond the grasp of words. All I know is that we can feel it—sometimes only for brief moments—but those moments of unconditional love are profound and transformative.
Consider the sun for a moment. No matter what has happened, what you’ve said, or what you’ve done, the sun rises for you every single morning. It offers its warmth and light unconditionally, providing us with the essential energy that sustains life—nourishing us through the fruits and vegetables it helps grow, supporting our well-being, and reminding us of the constancy of its presence.
If you ever find yourself doubting what true love is, think of the sun and the immense power it holds over our lives. It gives the same energy to all, unwavering and consistent, because its fire burns from the inside out—not the other way around. In this way, I invite us all to love like the sun: to be a steady source of light and warmth, radiating love from within without conditions or expectations.
Wishing you all a joyful and peaceful holiday season in 2024. May your dreams come to fruition, and may your hearts be filled with the warmth of true love.